Family counseling service disputes 'brainwashing' claims in child custody disputes

Family counseling services in Norway are pushing back against a critical portrayal of their work, arguing that it oversimplifies the complexities of child custody disputes. Frode Thuen, writing in A-magasinet, suggested that parents, particularly mothers, manipulate children into rejecting the other parent, creating a "hostile alliance" and often making court battles the "only real option." He also claimed family counseling services "wash their hands" of the problem.

Bufetat, Region East, which oversees family counseling offices, acknowledges that they have not always been clear enough about the difficulties children face after parental separation. However, they dispute Thuen's characterization of their approach and the problem itself. They emphasize that their role is to help navigate these challenges, not to assign blame.

The service highlights cases like Lise, 8, who prefers her mother's home, Truls, 12, who is withdrawn around his father due to suspected parental issues, and Anna, 15, who parrots her father's negative words about her mother. They argue that reducing these situations to "brainwashing" ignores the nuanced realities children experience, such as loyalty conflicts, difficulties adjusting to new living situations, or genuine distress caused by parental behavior.

The article notes that terms like "brainwashing" and "hostile alliance" are closely linked to parental alienation theory, which is not recognized as a diagnosis in major medical manuals and has been cautioned against by UN special rapporteurs for use in legal contexts. The counseling service warns that interpreting a child's resistance solely as manipulation risks overlooking potential issues like abuse, substance abuse, or neglect, which could be dangerous for the child.