Feeling Lonely Despite a Large Social Circle? You Might Be a 'Floater Friend'.
Translated from Indonesian, summarized and contextualized by DistantNews.
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Context piece
- A 'floater friend' is a person who comfortably moves between social circles but rarely feels deeply connected to any single group.
- This phenomenon challenges traditional notions of close-knit friendships, with floater friends often lacking shared inside jokes or core memories with others.
- Factors like frequent moves, relationship changes, demanding jobs, or family obligations can contribute to becoming a floater friend, sometimes as a defense mechanism for emotional safety.
The concept of a 'floater friend' describes individuals who navigate multiple social circles with ease but struggle to form deep, lasting connections within any one group. This psychological phenomenon challenges the popular image of friendships as exclusive, tightly-knit units with defined roles.
Floater friend is someone who comfortably moves between social circles, maintaining relationships across various groups, and not exclusively belonging to one friend network.
According to psychologist Lauren Mahoney, a floater friend is someone who "comfortably moves between social circles, maintaining relationships across various groups, and not exclusively belonging to one friend network." This contrasts with individuals who have a broad social network but still possess a stable core group of friends who would notice their absence.
Someone with a wide network has a stable base, people who would wonder where they are if they didn't show up.
Floater friends often experience a unique form of loneliness, realizing that others share core memories, inside jokes, and significant events from which they were absent. This can stem from a learned behavior of staying on the periphery, which may feel safer than the vulnerability required for deep connections.
If you have ever been a traveling friend, you know the specific pain of realizing everyone has core memories together, inside jokes, and events you've never heard of. Essentially, you are outside that circle.
Life circumstances such as frequent relocation, relationship breakups, demanding careers, or significant family responsibilities can also foster the floater friend dynamic. Sometimes, individuals unintentionally signal a preference for casual acquaintanceship by keeping conversations superficial or avoiding one-on-one interactions, leading others to assume they are not seeking deeper bonds.
Some people have learned that staying on the periphery feels safer than vulnerability in a deep circle.
DistantNews Editorial
Originally published by Tempo in Indonesian. Translated, summarized, and contextualized by our editorial team with added local perspective. Read our editorial standards.
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