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🇦🇷 Argentina /Culture & Society

Gabriel Rolón: “It is not the same to be a wanted child as to be the result of a failed contraceptive method”

From La Nación · () Spanish

Translated from Spanish and summarized by DistantNews. Read the original for the full story.

At a glance

Interview Named sources Context piece
  • Gabriel Rolón said unconscious commands can shape decisions while making people believe they are choosing freely.
  • He argued that the circumstances surrounding a person’s birth can influence how that person enters the world and experiences belonging.
  • Rolón described desire as an uncomfortable sign of what is missing and said lasting relationships require accepting imperfection.

Gabriel Rolón’s account of desire begins with a harsh distinction: “It is not the same to be a wanted child as to be the result of a failed contraceptive method.” In an interview on LN+, the Argentine psychoanalyst said people may carry the emotional effects of the expectations that surrounded their birth.

It is not the same to be a wanted child as to be the result of a failed contraceptive method, because one does not enter the world in the same way.

· Gabriel RolónHis discussion of how parental desire and unwanted pregnancy can shape a person’s experience.

Rolón argued that many decisions that appear voluntary are shaped by unconscious commands. These commands act like voices or destinies, directing people without leaving them a clear sense of choice. He connected this dynamic to decisions such as whether some women become mothers, suggesting that external expectations can influence even deeply personal choices.

A wanted child, he said, enters a place prepared by the desire and love of parents. Someone viewed as an inconvenience does not enter the world in the same psychological position. He also criticized the way parents can pass their unrealized ambitions to their children, asking why a child should want everything the parent never had.

We believe we are deciding when in reality we are only fulfilling an unconscious command that leaves us no choice.

· Gabriel RolónHis explanation of how unconscious expectations influence decisions.

Rolón then turned to the discomfort built into desire. “Desire makes you uncomfortable because it points to what is missing,” he said. People may circle that absence through love, books, success, television, work, or children, all of them attempts to fill a void that cannot be filled completely.

Desire makes you uncomfortable because it points to what is missing. You desire what you do not have.

· Gabriel RolónHis description of the tension inherent in wanting something.

The same refusal of perfection shaped his comments on romantic relationships. He warned that the ideal of a “better half” eventually gives way to disappointment because no partner can provide complete fulfillment. For Rolón, love gains its meaning not from finding a perfect person, but from embracing the other person’s imperfections while recognizing one’s own.

What is the point of loving someone who is perfect? The point of love is also embracing the other person’s imperfection.

· Gabriel RolónHis argument against expecting romantic partners to provide complete fulfillment.
About this summary

Originally published by La Nación in Spanish. Translated, summarized, and contextualized automatically by DistantNews, with a note on how the source frames the story. Not individually reviewed before publishing. How this works.

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