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🇦🇷 Argentina /Culture & Society

Mel Robbins, personal development expert: “Not everyone is meant to be your friend”

From La Nación · () Spanish

Translated from Spanish and summarized by DistantNews. Read the original for the full story.

At a glance

In-depth Named sources Context piece
  • Mel Robbins said adult friendships depend on physical proximity, shared energy, and common values.
  • She advised people to focus on consciously choosing who belongs in their social circle rather than trying to maintain every friendship.
  • Robbins also said relationships with parents can improve when people change how they relate to them, even if their parents do not change.

“Not everyone is meant to be your friend,” Mel Robbins said while addressing the strain many adults feel when they try to maintain too many friendships. On her popular podcast, the personal development expert argued that healthier relationships begin with an internal shift, not with attempts to change other people.

Not everyone is meant to be your friend.

· Mel RobbinsRobbins’ central point about accepting that not every relationship is meant to become a friendship.

Robbins said three elements usually need to align for a friendship to work: proximity, shared energy, and common values or interests. A relationship can be excellent, she explained, but changes in lifestyle can disrupt it. Quitting alcohol, focusing heavily on sport, or holding sharply different political beliefs can all alter the connection.

The rules of friendship change completely when you reach your twenties.

· Mel RobbinsHer explanation of why adult friendships can become more difficult.

Her advice was to pay attention to the people who are physically close and make a conscious effort to decide who belongs in one’s circle. She also discussed the expectations many people hold about their parents. As personalities become more settled with age, she said, parents may not want or feel the need to change the problems their children see.

They gave me everything they could based on their life experience.

· Mel RobbinsThe compassionate perspective she recommends when thinking about one’s parents.

Robbins recommended looking at parents’ pasts with greater compassion and telling oneself, “They gave me everything they could based on their life experience.” Although one person cannot guarantee another’s transformation, she said relationships can change when one person alters their own behavior and accepts that the other may not change. In her experience, changing how she presents herself in a relationship can sometimes make the relationship better.

What I have found, from time to time, is that the second time I change how I show up in a relationship, the relationship changes for the better.

· Mel RobbinsHer observation that changing one’s own behavior can improve a relationship.
About this summary

Originally published by La Nación in Spanish. Translated, summarized, and contextualized automatically by DistantNews, with a note on how the source frames the story. Not individually reviewed before publishing. How this works.

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