Gabriel Rolón: 'We Can Get Trapped in a Bond Built Around Suffering'

Suffering can inadvertently become a cornerstone of a relationship, even when it causes more pain than happiness, according to Argentine psychologist and writer Gabriel Rolón. He explained that not all painful relationships must end, but there's a critical point where difficulties cross into genuine harm.

"Good love isn't what doesn't make you suffer, it's what hurts you at the limit of what's bearable," Rolón stated during a radio segment. He acknowledged that conflicts, frustrations, and painful moments are inevitable in any relationship. Differences, mistakes, and disappointments can occur even in healthy partnerships.

The issue arises when these painful experiences transition from occasional events to a regular pattern. "Suffering ties many people down. Suffering is a way of bonding. You don't just bond with people through love," he observed. A key challenge for individuals in such situations is discerning when suffering has become the primary force holding the relationship together.

Rolón emphasized that while occasional arguments or hurtful words are normal, the repetition and intensity of negative behaviors are crucial indicators. "There are times when you don't realize it and you tolerate, and tolerate, and tolerate, and the aggressions approach that limit," he warned. This gradual shift can lead individuals to minimize or justify harmful actions in the name of love, accepting situations they would have previously found intolerable.