Gay football coach: Hiding identity was 'absolutely exhausting'

St. Pauli youth coach Christian Dobrick has spoken about the profound relief and lingering anxieties following his public coming out as gay. Over four months after revealing his sexuality, Dobrick shared that he had prepared himself for the possibility of his coaching career ending.

"I am now living on my own terms, for myself and no longer for others. But before, I gave a lot of thought to: Is this the end of my career? Is my sexuality the glass ceiling? I internally prepared for the possibility of no longer being able to work as a coach," Dobrick told the Tagesspiegel newspaper.

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I am now living on my own terms, for myself and no longer for others. But before, I gave a lot of thought to: Is this the end of my career? Is my sexuality the glass ceiling? I internally prepared for the possibility of no longer being able to work as a coach.

Dobrick publicly disclosed his homosexuality in late March. Following his announcement, prominent football figures like former national coach Julian Nagelsmann, Bayern Munich honorary president Uli Hoeneß, and women's national coach Christian Wück advocated for a more open approach to homosexuality in football. Dobrick expressed surprise at the widespread attention his story received, noting, "I didn't expect it to become so big. I thought it would be one piece of news and it would be reported. But the flood of reactions surprised me. I'm not a national player, after all."

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I didn't expect it to become so big. I thought it would be one piece of news and it would be reported. But the flood of reactions surprised me. I'm not a national player, after all.

While reactions from his personal circle and players were overwhelmingly positive, Dobrick also encountered negativity. "Of course, there are also the other voices. I was occasionally insulted, for example, as 'faggot who should find Jesus,'" he reported, referring to hateful messages on social media. He stated that he doesn't have time to report every instance to the authorities.

For Dobrick, coming out was about gaining quality of life. "The cover-ups were absolutely exhausting. You constantly think: What am I doing? When am I doing it? Who do I tell what? When you are 29 and still have a few years ahead of you in football, you have to ask yourself at some point if this is how you want to live in the long run," explained the native of Flensburg.

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Of course, there are also the other voices. I was occasionally insulted, for example, as 'faggot who should find Jesus.'

Homosexuality remains a taboo subject in men's professional football, despite calls for a more open environment from fan representatives. No active male professional player in the top three German leagues has publicly come out. In women's football, however, a player's sexual orientation has long ceased to be an issue.

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The cover-ups were absolutely exhausting. You constantly think: What am I doing? When am I doing it? Who do I tell what? When you are 29 and still have a few years ahead of you in football, you have to ask yourself at some point if this is how you want to live in the long run.