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Grandchildren's visits stopped because of 'this'? 74-year-old grandmother realizes cruel reality after LINE message

From Liberty Times · () Chinese

Translated from Chinese, summarized and contextualized by DistantNews.

At a glance

In-depth Sources not specified Context piece
  • A 74-year-old grandmother in Japan realized her grandchildren only visited for the money she gave them, leading to feelings of loneliness and betrayal.
  • She spent significant amounts on her grandchildren, including annual allowances and gifts, totaling 180,000 yen for pocket money alone.
  • Experts warn that elderly individuals who excessively subsidize their children and grandchildren risk financial depletion and severe loneliness in old age.

A 74-year-old grandmother, identified only as Chiyose, discovered a harsh reality: her grandchildren's visits were motivated by the money she provided. Living alone on a pension and savings after her husband's death six years prior, her grandchildren were her sole focus. She prepared elaborate meals and gave them pocket money, totaling around 360,000 yen annually, with larger sums for special occasions like New Year's and entrance exams.

Grandma can't go to the bank today, so I might not be able to prepare meals and pocket money... but I really want to see you, can you come and keep me company?

— ChiyoseThe grandmother's LINE message to her eldest grandson when she was unable to provide money.

One afternoon, suffering from severe back pain and unable to withdraw money, she sent a LINE message to her eldest grandson, expressing her desire to see him despite the lack of treats. His reply was chillingly pragmatic: "Okay, then I'll come next time. Take care." This response, followed by two weeks of silence, prompted her son to reveal the truth: the grandchildren were primarily motivated by the allowance.

Okay, then I'll come next time. Take care.

— Eldest grandsonThe grandson's reply to Chiyose's message, revealing his transactional motivation.

Chiyose's experience reflects a broader issue in aging societies, where over 48% of elderly individuals fear dying alone, a figure rising to over 73% for those living solo. Her realization that her relationships were transactional led her to change her approach. She began inviting her grandchildren to cook with her, look through old photos, and share family stories, fostering a more genuine connection.

Mom, I'm sorry, the children have been spoiled by us. They only go to your place for the pocket money...

— Chiyose's sonThe son's apology to his mother after she confided in him about her grandson's response.

Experts caution that such excessive financial support can deplete savings, especially with rising healthcare costs. The emotional toll of realizing one's primary emotional support is based on money can be more devastating than financial hardship. Chiyose's painful lesson serves as a warning to families about the importance of quality time over financial transactions in maintaining intergenerational relationships.

So, if I don't have pocket money, you won't come...?

— ChiyoseThe grandmother's painful realization about the nature of her relationship with her grandchildren.
DistantNews Editorial

Originally published by Liberty Times in Chinese. Translated, summarized, and contextualized by our editorial team with added local perspective. Read our editorial standards.

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