Harvard Professor Arthur Brooks: To Raise Good and Happy Children, Model the Values You Want to See

Arthur Brooks says parents have little influence if their actions contradict their advice. In a YouTube video, the Harvard professor argued that children learn most from what they see at home, not from what their parents tell them.

“If you want to be a good father or mother and want your children to be good, virtuous, kind, honest, upright and as happy as they can be, be an example of what you want to see,” Brooks said. “Words are less important than actions.”

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If you want to be a good father or mother and want your children to be good, virtuous, kind, honest, upright and as happy as they can be, be an example of what you want to see. Words are less important than actions.

He urged parents to behave admirably both publicly and privately. If children see their parents consistently acting according to strong moral values, he said, that example may affect their lives more than any speech delivered directly to them.

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Be admirable both publicly and privately.

Brooks also connected happiness with a simple habit: continuing to learn. In an Instagram video, he said the happiest people do not study merely from obligation or necessity. They keep learning because they remain genuinely curious about the world around them.

According to Brooks, reading, exploration and discovering new ideas stimulate interest, which he describes as one of the most basic positive emotional states linked to human well-being. Curiosity can lead to enthusiasm, help counter routine and apathy, and contribute to greater joy, satisfaction and happiness. He said this approach does not require formal education or collecting degrees, but an openness to new ideas and a willingness to keep learning.

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The happiest people are those who never stop learning. They do it not out of obligation, but out of curiosity.