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He gave up his childhood to care for his brother. Now he must learn to live without him
🇸🇬 Singapore /Culture & Society

He gave up his childhood to care for his brother. Now he must learn to live without him

From CNA · () English

Translated from English and summarized by DistantNews. Read the original for the full story.

At a glance

In-depth Named sources Outcome reported
  • Suresh Vanaz Purushothaman spent most of his life caring for his younger brother Gunaseelan, who had cerebral palsy.
  • After their mother died in 2009, Suresh became Gunaseelan’s main caregiver and continued the responsibility until his brother died at 42.
  • Suresh says he now faces loneliness and grief because he can no longer perform the daily care duties he regarded as his responsibility.

Suresh Vanaz Purushothaman remembers childhood trips to the playground differently from other children. While they played on swings and slides, he sat beside his younger brother Gunaseelan, watching.

He was my best friend, my best buddy, my best brother, the best son I could ever ask for.

— Suresh Vanaz PurushothamanHe described his younger brother Gunaseelan while mourning his death.

Gunaseelan was diagnosed with cerebral palsy at three, when Suresh was about seven. From then on, Suresh helped their mother care for him, balancing school with tasks that included taking his brother to school, changing his diapers and feeding him. As a child, he also worked cleaning tables at a coffee shop to help with the family’s needs.

Their parents later divorced, and the brothers lived with their mother. When she died in 2009, Suresh became Gunaseelan’s main caregiver. He described the increase in his responsibilities as “a million per cent,” but said he regarded caring for his brother as a duty.

If you asked me when my stress levels started, it started when I was pretty much about seven, eight.

— Suresh Vanaz PurushothamanHe recalled beginning to help care for his brother during childhood.

Gunaseelan, 42, died in Suresh’s arms on Aug. 29 after developing a fever and experiencing seizures. Suresh says he does not feel released from his responsibilities. Instead, he is grieving that he can no longer change his brother’s diaper, carry him to the toilet, shower him, shave him, brush his teeth or perform the other routines he never found tiring.

Isn't it my duty as a sibling to take care of my brother? Isn't it my duty to take care of the brother that I had all these years?

— Suresh Vanaz PurushothamanHe explained why he continued caring for Gunaseelan after their mother died.

The brothers had shared their lives on social media, where Suresh also spoke about caregiving and advocated for people with disabilities and their caregivers. “He was my best friend, my best buddy, my best brother, the best son I could ever ask for,” he said.

I didn't feel tired of it and I will never feel tired of it. In fact, I'm upset that I'm not able to do this duty anymore.

— Suresh Vanaz PurushothamanHe described his grief after losing the daily caregiving role he had held for decades.
About this summary

Originally published by CNA in English. Translated, summarized, and contextualized automatically by DistantNews, with a note on how the source frames the story. Not individually reviewed before publishing. How this works.

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