High-Voltage Line, September 7, 2026

The column fires off a series of jokes, puns and pointed criticisms aimed at Turkey’s political climate. Its opening line says the values others have destroyed cannot be restored, then calls for the country to be freed from what it describes as the rule of a “TELEFi” religious order, a play on the word for compensation.

It mocks repeated escapes from accountability with a grasshopper joke, ending with the claim that the creature has broken the world record for not being caught. Another entry says that in a country it knows, breaking the law is easier than chewing gum, while breaking the law while chewing gum represents the ultimate achievement.

The column takes aim at the media as well, calling for pro-government journalists to receive “orange press cards.” It also attacks what it describes as the prevalence of obscenity on television and social media, referring to the country as a “banana republic” through another wordplay.

One entry focuses on secularism. It says a mufti who organized a religious ceremony for Atatürk on Nov. 10 was dismissed, then sarcastically suggests that a secular mufti should conduct the funeral prayer for secularism, which it says was abandoned in a mosque courtyard.

Other lines contrast the former slogan of “National Outlook” with what the writer calls “National and Local Appearance,” saying that ideas once competed but now seats do. The column also invokes democracy, justice, money and disarmament, using irony to contrast public ideals with what it portrays as political maneuvering and unequal treatment.