How I lost my first love while in Germany —Abdulsalami

Former Head of State, Gen. Abdulsalami Abubakar (retd.), has revealed a poignant personal story from his early military days in Germany in 1964, detailing how he lost his first love due to the severe limitations of telecommunications in Nigeria at the time.

Abubakar was engaged before his departure for military training abroad, intentionally delaying the wedding. However, while he was in Germany, the lack of communication channels meant he could not reach his fiancée. He recounted in his autobiography, 'Call of Duty,' that telephone penetration in Nigeria was extremely low, with booking a call requiring two to three days' advance notice. Crucially, "no single family in Minna had a private line," and telephones were scarce, located only at official government offices.

“

I desperately wanted to speak with her from Germany but it wasn’t possible. Telephone penetration in Nigeria at the time was very low. To make a telephone call, you had to book two to three days ahead. In any case, most homes didn’t have a phone. In fact, no single family in Minna had a private line. The only telephones in the whole town were at the Nigeria Police Charge Office, the Native Authority Police, the office of the Secretary to the Native Authority and the Divisional Officer’s Office. Not many people in Minna had seen a phone. I had only used it once. There was no way to communicate with her.

His fiancée's father, growing impatient with the lack of contact and commitment, issued an ultimatum: marry her immediately, with her staying with Abubakar's parents while he was away, or lose her entirely. Before Abubakar could respond to either option, he learned that her father had arranged her marriage to another man. This event caused him pain but he did not take offense.

This heartbreak, however, marked the beginning of his courtship with Fatima, his eventual wife. A mutual friend, aware of his failed first relationship, suggested he consider Fatima, who was a reserved young woman from the same neighborhood in Minna. Their families had long-standing ties, and their homes were situated close to each other, setting the stage for a new chapter in Abubakar's life.

“

Her father started hurrying me up. He gave me a deadline for the wedding, otherwise he would terminate the relationship. He gave me two options. One, to get married to her immediately and she would stay with my parents while I was away. Two, to get married immediately and she would continue to live in the family house with him. He said he could not allow his daughter to idle away at home since she wasn’t going to school any longer. I had yet to get back to him on either of the options when I learnt he had decided to marry her off. Even though I was pained, I didn’t take offence.