DistantNews
Support us
How saying “It was no big deal” can hurt women’s careers
🇷🇴 Romania /Culture & Society

How saying “It was no big deal” can hurt women’s careers

From Adevărul · () Romanian

Translated from Romanian and summarized by DistantNews. Read the original for the full story.

At a glance

In-depth Named sources Context piece
  • Two experiments examined how women and men respond to compliments and how they judge people who accept or minimize praise.
  • Women more often returned compliments and feared being seen as arrogant or cold when they acknowledged their achievements.
  • The article argues that repeatedly minimizing success can contribute to lower pay and fewer promotions, while distinguishing modesty from denying one’s contribution.

Saying “I was just lucky” may sound modest, but research suggests it can also make a professional achievement harder to recognize. Women in particular reported concerns that openly claiming credit would make them appear arrogant or cold.

The findings come from two experiments published in Evolutionary Psychological Science under the title “Strategic Modesty in Women’s Same-Gender Interactions: Response to Compliments and Anticipated Backlash.” In the first, 838 participants imagined complimenting someone of the same sex and then rated different responses. Both women and men reacted negatively to self-praise, but women judged another woman’s self-praise more harshly.

I have seen many women do this and remain underpaid and without promotions for years. I include myself. It is essential to learn to make your achievements known.

— Reddit participantThe participant described the career consequences of minimizing professional accomplishments.

Downplaying an achievement also received a negative response. Researchers had expected phrases such as “I was lucky” to signal modesty. Instead, they said such answers could appear to reject the compliment itself.

In the second experiment, 505 students imagined receiving praise. Women more often responded with another compliment, while men were more likely to accept the praise or emphasize their own contribution. Women also expressed greater fear that self-acknowledgment would make them seem arrogant.

I think it is important to distinguish between modesty and erasing your own merit.

— Gabriela RăileanuThe psychotherapist separates healthy modesty from denying one’s contribution.

The discussion around the study highlighted the role of workplace culture and questioned whether imagined situations fully reflect real jobs. Other participants described practical costs. One woman wrote that many women had stayed underpaid and overlooked for promotions after minimizing their achievements, adding that she had experienced the same problem.

Psychotherapist Gabriela Răileanu said modesty should not mean erasing one’s contribution. A person can recognize help from colleagues and still say, “Yes, I played an important role in this project and I am proud of the result.”

Being modest does not mean denying what you did well.

— Gabriela RăileanuShe explains how people can acknowledge teamwork while still claiming appropriate credit.
About this summary

Originally published by Adevărul in Romanian. Translated, summarized, and contextualized automatically by DistantNews, with a note on how the source frames the story. Not individually reviewed before publishing. How this works.

More Stories

From Our Blog