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Parents not solely to blame: Psychologist explains factors shaping personality
๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡น Lithuania /Culture & Society

Parents not solely to blame: Psychologist explains factors shaping personality

From Delfi · () Lithuanian

Translated from Lithuanian, summarized and contextualized by DistantNews.

At a glance

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  • A psychologist argues that blaming parents for adult issues is an oversimplification rooted in psychoanalytic theory and a fear of personal responsibility.
  • Psychologist Gintarฤ— Buinickaitฤ— suggests that people often seek temporary relief in therapy rather than lasting change, sometimes trapping therapists in a cycle of validation.
  • She posits that genetics, environment, and individual experiences, including how those experiences are perceived, play a more significant role in shaping personality than solely parental upbringing.

Many people continue to blame their parents for their adult problems, a tendency psychologist Gintarฤ— Buinickaitฤ— attributes to lingering psychoanalytic ideas and an aversion to taking personal responsibility. "We are still living in the shadow of psychoanalysis, stuck since the Freudian era," Buinickaitฤ— explained, noting that shifting blame to parents is easier than confronting personal shortcomings.

We are still living in the shadow of psychoanalysis, stuck since the Freudian era.

โ€” Gintarฤ— Buinickaitฤ—The psychologist explained the historical influence contributing to the tendency to blame parents.

Buinickaitฤ— also pointed out a secondary benefit some derive from this mindset: attention and sympathy. She observed that individuals in therapy sometimes seek temporary relief rather than fundamental change, leading to a repetitive cycle of discussing the same issues without resolution. This pattern can inadvertently lead therapists to validate clients' beliefs too readily, potentially driven by a desire to avoid confrontation or even commercial interests, as prolonged therapy without change can be profitable.

We also fear responsibility and it is easier to transfer it to someone else than to accept it and say to myself that perhaps I am really like that.

โ€” Gintarฤ— Buinickaitฤ—Buinickaitฤ— discussed the psychological reasons behind shifting blame to parents.

The psychologist suggested that the human brain's inclination towards simple explanations contributes to the "blame the parents" myth. "The brain wants to save energy and quickly achieve security," she stated. Attributing low self-esteem to a parent's criticism, for example, provides a seemingly clear cause, discouraging deeper exploration of personality formation.

The brain wants to save energy, doesn't want to work extra and wants to quickly achieve security.

โ€” Gintarฤ— Buinickaitฤ—The psychologist explained the cognitive processes that favor simple explanations for complex issues.

Buinickaitฤ— emphasized that scientific evidence indicates personality is shaped by a complex interplay of factors beyond just parental upbringing. Genetics play a significant role, accounting for a substantial portion of individual differences. Furthermore, the "unique environment", encompassing individual experiences, social relationships, family structure, and biological factors like nutrition and physical activity, profoundly influences development. How a person perceives and interprets their experiences is also a critical element in personality formation.

Science shows that a person's personality is shaped not only by parental upbringing.

โ€” Gintarฤ— Buinickaitฤ—Buinickaitฤ— highlighted the multifaceted nature of personality development based on scientific findings.
DistantNews Editorial

Originally published by Delfi in Lithuanian. Translated, summarized, and contextualized by our editorial team with added local perspective. Read our editorial standards.

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