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🇫🇮 Finland /Culture & Society

Parents speak for children too readily, one parent argues

From Helsingin Sanomat · () Finnish

Translated from Finnish, summarized and contextualized by DistantNews.

At a glance

Opinion Sources not specified Context piece
  • A parent has written to Helsingin Sanomat expressing concern that customer service staff ignore her child when she is present.
  • The parent notes that other parents also frequently speak for their children, sometimes to the point of annoyance.
  • She advocates for giving children the opportunity to speak for themselves in interactions with adults.

A parent has voiced frustration over customer service interactions where her child is overlooked. In an opinion piece for Helsingin Sanomat, Minna Päivinen described instances where service staff direct questions to her instead of her child, even when the child is present and capable of responding.

When I encounter a stranger with my child, I first assess the child's age so I know what level of question to ask. If I ask the child their name, the child might get to answer themselves. But when I continue my 'interrogation' and ask for their age, many parents are already answering for their child.

— Minna PäivinenThe author describes common parental behavior that she finds hinders children's communication.

Päivinen highlighted that this tendency for parents to speak for their children is common. She explained her own approach: assessing a child's age to ask age-appropriate questions. While she sometimes allows parents to answer for their children, she admits that overly protective parents can be irritating. In such cases, she bypasses the parent and addresses the child directly.

I dare to retort to the parents I know best: 'I wasn't asking you, I was asking your child.'

— Minna PäivinenThe author explains how she sometimes directly addresses parents who overstep.

The author stressed the importance of acknowledging children and allowing them opportunities for direct communication. She believes that by speaking for children, parents inadvertently limit their chances to engage and develop their own communication skills.

Sometimes parents' behavior is so annoying that I don't say anything more to the adult but continue my conversation with the child.

— Minna PäivinenThe author describes her strategy when parents are overly involved in their child's interactions.
DistantNews Editorial

Originally published by Helsingin Sanomat in Finnish. Translated, summarized, and contextualized by our editorial team with added local perspective. Read our editorial standards.

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