Paz Martínez: “You Fully Learn to Be a Father by Becoming a Grandfather”

“And if you ever think of dying, let it be of love... let it be of love.” Those lines form part of the chorus Paz Martínez wrote for his first grandson, Tomás. Unlike songs such as “Amor pirata,” “Qué par de pájaros” and “Una voz en el teléfono,” this one is a manifesto of tenderness and a set of advice for adulthood.

Norberto Gurvich, known as “El Paz,” entered grandparenthood without a model. He never knew any of his four grandparents. On his father's side, he says, his family came from Russia after the First World War. His grandfather Germán Gurvich worked as a printer, was imprisoned in Siberia, escaped and reached Argentina with his wife aboard the ship Princesa. He had seven children and died when Martínez's father was 14.

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You fully learn to be a father by becoming a grandfather.

He also never knew his maternal grandparents. Martínez says his maternal grandfather abandoned his grandmother, making his name unwelcome in the family. Life, he says, balanced that absence when Tomás was born with a great-great-grandmother still alive. His daughter-in-law's grandmother was alive when she became a mother.

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With grandchildren, you don't have the same obligations. Your relationship with them is more honest, and they will see another side of you.

Martínez has a theory shaped by his experience: “You fully learn to be a father by becoming a grandfather.” A waiter at a restaurant in Monte Grande first put the idea to him while the family celebrated his daughter-in-law Soledad's pregnancy. The waiter told him that grandparents did not carry the same obligations, and that grandchildren would see another side of him.

Martínez says he was strict with his own children because his mother, Fortunata, raised him strictly. He never hit them, he says, but he became angry easily. With his grandchildren, he now sees that anger served no purpose. He also recalls performing in Neuquén on the night after his mother was buried, despite wanting to cancel his shows. During the concert, he kept looking at the sky and wondering what he was doing there. The responsibility she taught him, he says, was passed on to his children.

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My grandchildren know the best version of me.

The song for Tomás began during a television appearance, when Martínez said he was about to become a grandfather. A hairdresser left the set saying, “Have a good life, goodbye.” Martínez took the familiar phrase as the starting point for the song.

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Have a good life, goodbye.