Psychoanalyst Gabriel Rolón: 'There will always be a wound, an absence that moves you with a memory.'

Argentine psychoanalyst Gabriel Rolón advocates for a more realistic approach to happiness, urging individuals to embrace "faltacidad" – a happiness capable of encompassing all of life's imperfections.

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There will always be a wound, an absence that is felt at your side and moves you with a memory, but since the pain is stronger than happiness, the memory of a happy moment is a little painful.

In a recent interview, Rolón challenged the notion of achieving absolute happiness, particularly in a culture that demands immediate results. He highlighted the inherent presence of "a wound, an absence that is felt at your side and moves you with a memory." This, he explained, makes perfect happiness an unattainable ideal. Instead, he proposed that true well-being lies in acknowledging and integrating these imperfections.

Rolón introduced the neologism "faltacidad" to describe this nuanced state of being. It represents a happiness that "embraces all my lacks, my absences, my pains, and my wounds." This concept suggests that confronting and accepting life's difficulties is key to genuine contentment, rather than striving for an elusive state of flawlessness.

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Memory is a very particular and enigmatic place, because it is the place where we keep the things we have lost so that death does not take them away forever. And then that place is a treasured place.

The psychoanalyst also touched upon the role of memory, describing it as a sanctuary for lost things, preserved against the finality of death. He cautioned against seeking magical or immediate solutions, stressing that building a fulfilling life requires courage and conscious effort. "Being happy implies a very big responsibility," he stated, urging a redefinition of happiness away from unattainable expectations.

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Being happy implies a very big responsibility.

Furthermore, Rolón explored love as a human invention to temporarily ward off the fear of death. He described it as a tool that lessens the pain of loneliness and the disturbance of sadness. However, he also warned of the inherent risks in love, noting that "loving someone is giving them power over you," a vulnerability that requires careful navigation.

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There is no happiness. There is 'faltacidad,' which is a happiness that is capable of embracing all my lacks, my absences, my pains, and my wounds.