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🇦🇷 Argentina /Health & Science

Psychologist Gabriel Rolón: “I cannot be your solution if you are my problem”

From La Nación · () Spanish

Translated from Spanish and summarized by DistantNews. Read the original for the full story.

At a glance

In-depth Named sources Context piece
  • Gabriel Rolón says continued contact with an ex-partner can make it harder to recover while the emotional wound remains open.
  • He argues that caring about an ex’s wellbeing does not require someone to remain available as emotional support.
  • Rolón recommends setting boundaries and creating distance when contact prevents healing.

Ending a relationship does not always mean ending all feelings. A person may still care about an ex-partner, recognize their good qualities and worry about their suffering, yet still need to walk away.

Is it possible that the other person is good? That they are suffering too and that this is difficult for them? All of that is possible.

· Gabriel RolónHe explained that recognizing an ex-partner’s suffering does not remove the need for personal boundaries.

That was the tension Gabriel Rolón explored during an appearance on “Perros de la Calle,” broadcast by Urbana Play 104.3. The psychologist and writer argued that staying close after a breakup can deepen the pain, especially when one person has not yet processed the end of the relationship.

Rolón said compassion does not create an obligation to remain emotionally available. “Is it possible that the other person is good? That they are suffering too and that this is difficult for them? All of that is possible,” he said, before stating his position more directly: “I cannot be your solution if you are my problem.”

I cannot be your solution if you are my problem.

· Gabriel RolónHe summarized why continued emotional closeness can prevent recovery after a breakup.

He also addressed the guilt that can arise when someone cuts contact. A person can wish an ex well without being able to support them through their own recovery. “I cannot do it. You are a really good person, I wish you the best, but do not ask me to help you because being close to you hurts me,” Rolón said.

I cannot do it. You are a really good person, I wish you the best, but do not ask me to help you because being close to you hurts me.

· Gabriel RolónHe described how someone might explain the need to end contact with an ex-partner.

For him, a boundary does not necessarily signal anger, resentment or indifference. It can simply create the space needed to grieve the relationship without constant exposure to what causes pain. “It hurts me not to get involved in certain things,” he added.

It hurts me not to get involved in certain things.

· Gabriel RolónHe described the pain involved in distancing oneself from someone who remains important.
About this summary

Originally published by La Nación in Spanish. Translated, summarized, and contextualized automatically by DistantNews, with a note on how the source frames the story. Not individually reviewed before publishing. How this works.

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