Psychotherapist explains how to distinguish codependency from love

A psychotherapist is shedding light on the subtle yet crucial differences between codependency and authentic love, particularly for individuals who find themselves repeatedly drawn into relationships that appear doomed from the outset.

Codependency, the therapist explains, often originates from a deep-seated fear of abandonment. This fear drives individuals to constantly seek to be helpful or indispensable to their partners. The underlying motivation is to ensure they remain significant in the partner's life, thereby preventing the dreaded scenario of being left alone.

This pattern of behavior manifests in various ways. Individuals may find themselves constantly monitoring their partner's moods, adjusting their own schedules to accommodate their partner's plans, and striving to please them. The internal monologue might be, "If only my partner knew how much I do for them. If only this would stop them from abandoning me."

The therapist emphasizes that this constant effort to be needed or to prevent abandonment, even at the cost of one's own well-being or tolerance for unacceptable behavior, is a hallmark of codependency. True love, in contrast, is characterized by mutual respect, healthy boundaries, and a sense of security that does not rely on constant validation or the fear of being left.