Rakel Chukri: I Lived a Double Life Under the Name Lena

Journalist Rakel Chukri shares a deeply personal reflection on navigating her identity, detailing a "double life" she led for years under the name Lena. Her Assyrian parents, immigrants to Sweden in the late 1960s, bestowed upon her two names with the intention of facilitating her integration into Swedish society.

Chukri explains that her parents believed a name easily pronounceable by Swedes, like Lena, was crucial for her academic and professional future. While she was known as Rakel within her family and Assyrian community, she was Lena at school. This duality, intended to foster integration, led to confusing situations, such as at birthday parties where classmates called her Lena while her Assyrian cousins used Rakel, making her feel like an imposter.

Her upbringing involved distinct cultural practices: at home, Assyrian was the primary language, and traditional foods were served. Rakel participated in Assyrian folk dances and learned Assyrian history. Conversely, Lena attended school, ate Swedish staples like blood pudding and fish gratin, and engaged with secular Swedish life. This separation created a growing internal conflict.

As a teenager, Chukri felt increasingly alienated by the disconnect between her two worlds. She found herself caught between Sweden's emphasis on the individual and the collectivist nature of her Middle Eastern cultural heritage. Ultimately, she chose to embrace the individualistic ethos, joining the Liberal Youth League. This decision was driven by her appreciation for market economics and a desire not to have her ethnic background solely define her life.