The Perfect Dating-App Man Turned Out to Be Using AI to Speak for Him

Cleo Chua thought she had met an unusually polished man on OkCupid. The 27-year-old Singaporean began talking to a 30-year-old American user in November last year, impressed by his carefully written profile and fluent, complete messages.

After several hours, they moved the conversation to Telegram. There, Chua noticed that every message contained long dashes and italics, features she associated with AI-generated writing. Before she could ask about it, the man suddenly returned to awkward English. When challenged, he replied, “Because am lazy to text msg.”

“

Because am lazy to text msg

“I was very shocked and upset because I didn’t even realize people were using AI to text. I felt deceived,” Chua said. She no longer uses dating apps. Her experience formed part of a report compiled by Singapore’s CNA on September 4, which described AI as an unintended disruptor in dating.

“

I was very shocked and upset because I didn’t even realize people were using AI to text. I felt deceived.

AI is also moving directly into dating platforms. Earlier this year, the U.S. app Coffee Meets Bagel launched a tool that suggests conversation openers based on users’ profiles. A survey of more than 1,000 Singaporeans aged 21 to 35, conducted by the app in November 2025, found that about nine in 10 were willing to use AI in dating. Yet 87% wanted control over how and when it was used, while 77% feared it would make dating less authentic.

“That shows people are not rejecting AI, but they are asking for reasonable boundaries,” said Jason Teo, the platform’s head of product. For some users, however, AI itself is a warning sign. Mitch Sene, 24, said she would skip a profile if she detected AI in its introduction. “AI is a minus for me. If you are confident, you will post your real photo. How can you trust someone who does not want to show their true self?” she said.

“

That shows people are not rejecting AI, but they are asking for reasonable boundaries.

Wendy, 26, stopped using dating apps after what she called a very bad experience. A man she met on Tinder later sent sensitive messages and images on Telegram. Her friends recognized that the images had been generated by AI because one showed six fingers. Wendy feared he could take photos from her Instagram account to create others. “I cannot trust the people I meet online. I always have to ask myself whether they are real,” she said.

“

AI is a minus for me. If you are confident, you will post your real photo. How can you trust someone who does not want to show their true self?