DistantNews
Support us
🇳🇵 Nepal /Culture & Society

What’s in a surname?

From Kathmandu Post · () English

Summarized and contextualized by DistantNews.

At a glance

In-depth Sources not specified Context piece
  • The author reflects on the societal norm of women adopting their father's or husband's surname, likening it to an invisibility cloak that obscures a woman's independent identity.
  • This practice is deeply ingrained in patriarchal systems, including historical concepts like 'Manuvaadi gotra' and modern governmental identification systems, which often fail to recognize women without a male lineage.
  • The article argues that while traditions vary, the universal practice of assigning surnames based on men reinforces patriarchal norms, forcing women to fight for recognition beyond their given name.

The author uses the metaphor of an invisibility cloak to describe how a woman's identity is often tied to the men in her life, specifically through her surname. This cloak, she writes, makes the right half of a woman's body transparent, with a man standing behind her, making her body appear half hers and half his. This phenomenon, she argues, is normalized because society believes a woman's identity is inextricably linked to men.

I will be removing the surname from my citizenship card when I grow up.

— AuthorRecounting a childhood declaration that sparked her mother's reaction.

Recounting a childhood declaration to remove her surname from her citizenship card, the author recalls her mother's furious reaction and her father's amused dismissal. Her mother's offense, the author posits, stems from an understanding that society and the system will only recognize women by a man's surname. This societal and governmental structure, influenced by historical concepts like 'Manuvaadi gotra,' often fails to recognize women as citizens without a proper lineage or solely through their mother's name.

This girl’s reading habit has gone too far now.

— Author's MotherReacting to the author's statement about surnames.

The article critiques the practice of women adopting their father's or husband's surname, noting its universality across cultures and traditions. Even in heterosexual marriages, many women prefer to take their husband's surname. Research suggests women may need to use their full name, including a male-associated surname, in professional settings to gain recognition in male-dominated fields, indicating a continued struggle against patriarchal norms.

This is not something to joke about, naani. Don’t try to be oversmart.

— Author's MotherFurther admonishing the author for her statement.

Ultimately, the author questions why a surname and 'gotra' that are tied to a 'kanyadaan' (giving away the bride) should be entertained. She wonders why a woman, who possesses no title to fill in her citizenship card without a man's help, would not leave that section empty. The piece highlights how patriarchal systems, from historical traditions to governmental structures, continue to subordinate women's identities to male lineage, necessitating a long fight for self-definition.

Is it because my mother knows that the system and society will recognise me, her and any other woman only by a man’s surname?

— AuthorPondering the societal implications of surname traditions.
DistantNews Editorial

Originally published by Kathmandu Post. Summarized and contextualized by our editorial team with added local perspective. Read our editorial standards.

More Stories

From Our Blog