What to Do When You Keep Having the Urge to Hit Someone

A polite, popular office worker found himself suddenly imagining punching people who had done nothing to provoke him. He knew he would not attack them, yet the thought felt so forceful that he held his right fist with his left hand while speaking to colleagues.

The man, identified as Minsu, had been bullied in middle school. Several students surrounded him after school, demanded money and beat him after discovering cash in his pocket. Similar incidents continued, leaving him with anger, fear and a sense of helplessness. Although he never acted on fantasies of hurting the bullies, the thoughts later returned in uncomfortable situations, even when the imagined targets were his girlfriend, father, pastor or company president.

A psychiatric evaluation found no depression or anxiety but diagnosed obsessive-compulsive disorder. The column describes the thoughts as intrusive obsessions that conflict with Minsu’s moral values, a quality psychiatry calls ego-dystonic. His attempts to hold his fist or punch the air while shouting in his car functioned as compulsive behaviors intended to reduce anxiety.

The explanation offered is that the anger and defensive instinct suppressed during childhood remained embedded in his mind. When he faces minor tension, his brain’s amygdala may mistake it for danger and trigger an aggressive alarm. The column stresses that thinking about hitting someone is not the same as hitting them, and that intrusive thoughts do not reveal a person’s true will or character.

It advises Minsu to stop treating the thoughts as moral failures and to remind himself that the reaction comes from a wounded brain rather than from a desire to hurt others. It also suggests replacing self-blame with the recognition that he was powerless as a child but can protect himself as an adult. Sports involving striking a ball, including tennis, badminton and table tennis, are presented as possible physical and psychological outlets for aggressive obsessive thoughts and trauma responses.