Why some employees never say what bothers them at work. What happens before a seemingly unexpected resignation

Seemingly unexpected resignations are rarely impulsive, often preceded by months of unspoken frustrations and missed conversations. Many employees remain silent about workplace problems, leaving managers blindsided when they eventually decide to leave.

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There are many reasons why employees do not speak openly with their managers. Sometimes it's not even about a dysfunctional relationship. Managers are so focused on work, on results and on what they concretely have to do, that they fail to build the kind of relationship with the team that creates a feeling of openness and trust that, when I am truly concerned about a problem, I can go and discuss it with my boss.

Madi Rădulescu, a Master Certified Coach, explains that employees may not speak up for various reasons, even without a dysfunctional relationship. Managers, intensely focused on tasks and results, sometimes fail to foster an environment of trust where team members feel safe discussing concerns. This lack of open dialogue can stem from employees' assumptions or genuine fears of repercussions.

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Maybe sometimes it's just an assumption employees make, but the result is the same. But there are also situations where the lack of dialogue and the seemingly unexpected nature of the resignation occur because what we call psychological safety is missing.

"Psychological safety is paramount," Rădulescu states. "It manifests in two key questions: 'Is it safe for me to say what I think?' and 'What are the consequences if I say what concerns me, and then what I expect doesn't happen?'" This fear can lead employees to avoid difficult conversations and lose hope for change, contributing to the surprise of their departure.

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In the first place, it manifests in response to two questions: 'Is it safe for me to say what I think?' and 'What are the consequences if I say what concerns me, and then what I expect doesn't happen?'

Managers are often caught off guard, especially when their intentions are not to exert undue pressure or show disrespect. They may not realize how their behavior, perhaps overly focused on outcomes, creates minor disappointments or a lack of authentic connection with their staff. This disconnect prevents them from seeing the growing dissatisfaction until it culminates in a resignation.

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Managers are often caught by surprise, especially when their intention is not to put undue pressure and is not due to a lack of respect or appreciation. They simply do not see how they create small disappointments or even a lack of authentic relationship with employees.