Women avoid this question in relationships, but it secretly troubles them

Ashanti Bentil-Dhue, an attorney, writer, and popular TikTok creator, highlights a common yet unspoken concern among women: the fear of asking potential partners about their stance on feminism. In a video, she explains that women often hesitate to inquire about views on misogyny, women's rights, femicide, and female independence, anticipating unwelcome answers based on past experiences.

"When you realize that the man you are attracted to and want to choose you doesn't respect women, it's not a good feeling," Bentil-Dhue stated. She elaborated that this can create cognitive dissonance, as even if a partner is kind, the underlying lack of respect for women's experiences might eventually surface. This issue extends beyond new relationships, with many women in long-term marriages never having discussed these topics or choosing to ignore their husbands' views to avoid feeling disrespected.

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When you realize that the man you are attracted to and want to choose you doesn't respect women, it's not a good feeling.

Research from 2025 indicates that a significant portion of young men believe women should be subordinate, reflecting a societal issue amplified by "manosphere" influencers promoting male dominance. Therapist Gigi Engle notes that avoiding these conversations is easier than confronting a reality where a partner may not consider women equal or respect them. However, she stresses the importance of asking these questions early on, as they offer invaluable insights into how a partner views one's rights and will behave in a relationship. "A person who is worth your time and investment will not have a problem discussing it," Engle concluded.

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A person who is worth your time and investment will not have a problem discussing it.