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🇰🇷 South Korea /Conflict & Security

Before You Ring the Doorbell

From Hankyoreh · (9h ago) Korean

Translated from Korean, summarized and contextualized by DistantNews.

TLDR

  • The article discusses the psychological impact of noise, particularly between neighbors in apartment buildings, drawing parallels to tinnitus.
  • It argues that focusing on and reacting to noise amplifies the problem, leading to increased stress and conflict.
  • The author suggests that instead of escalating disputes, individuals should try to disengage from the perceived 'attack' of noise to reduce stress and improve neighborly relations.

Living in close proximity within apartment buildings often leads to friction, particularly concerning noise. This article delves into the phenomenon of inter-neighbor noise disputes, suggesting that our reaction to the sound is often more problematic than the sound itself. The author draws an analogy to tinnitus, a persistent ringing in the ears, where focusing on the sound only intensifies its perceived loudness and distress.

If you go up to complain to the upstairs neighbors, you have to think before you ring the doorbell: 'This is the best it can be right now.'

— Kim Young-junAdvising caution before escalating noise complaints.

Similarly, when it comes to noise from upstairs neighbors, the instinct to complain or confront can be counterproductive. The article posits that the act of escalating the issue—by knocking on the door or lodging a complaint—often leads to a heightened sense of being under surveillance and a perpetual state of auditory conflict. This creates a situation where both parties feel their daily lives are being disrupted by the other, fostering animosity rather than understanding.

Once you ring that bell, whether the upstairs neighbors listen or not, you will hear more sounds.

— Kim Young-junWarning about the consequences of escalating neighborly disputes.

The piece explores the psychological aspect of noise perception, noting that what might initially be an unintentional sound can become interpreted as a deliberate act of aggression. This interpretation fuels the desire for intervention. However, the author suggests that a more effective approach might be to consciously disengage from the noise, treating it as something external and irrelevant, much like ignoring the sound of a stranger's conversation on a train.

The more you try to be careful, the more often you drop things like cups or trays in the middle of the night.

— Kim Young-junExplaining the psychological phenomenon of increased mistakes when trying too hard to be quiet.

Ultimately, the article advocates for a shift in perspective. Instead of viewing every sound from a neighbor as a personal affront, it encourages a more detached approach. By choosing not to engage or escalate, individuals might find that the perceived disturbance lessens, leading to a more peaceful coexistence. This perspective challenges the common reaction of immediate confrontation and suggests that a degree of willful ignorance can be a pathway to tranquility in shared living spaces.

Perhaps we are releasing the stress of living in excessive proximity through hostility towards noise between floors.

— Kim Young-junSuggesting a psychological reason for neighborly noise conflicts.
DistantNews Editorial

Originally published by Hankyoreh in Korean. Translated, summarized, and contextualized by our editorial team with added local perspective. Read our editorial standards.

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