Correct in Private

Human beings are limited. We can act recklessly, lose focus or become aggressive, and those weaknesses make progress slow and uneven. We often plan one thing and end up with something entirely different. Personal wounds that have not healed properly can also hold us back.

The column places these weaknesses alongside the reality of sin, described as an offense against reason, truth, a sound conscience, God and one’s neighbor. Modern people may not pay much attention to sin as a voluntary offense, it says, but sin remains present and distorts the image of human beings as God’s creatures.

That is why Jesus’ instruction carries weight: “If your brother sins against you, go and correct him in private.” The writer says everyone knows the bitter experience of being harmed, envied or set up by others. Everyone also has to recognize that they sometimes do the same to others.

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If your brother sins against you, go and correct him in private.

This is what the column calls “fraternal correction.” It is correction because it points out a failing and indicates a better path. It is fraternal because it must not seek to humiliate, condemn or claim superiority. Doing it privately also matters, because criticizing someone in front of others causes greater pain. The rule is simple: praise in public and correct in private.

Correction should not involve sarcasm, shouting or threats. The person being corrected must also listen with humility and answer respectfully, rather than retaliating by pointing out that the other person is equally foolish. Both practices, the writer says, require a well-tended spiritual life. Frequent family prayer can help, because Jesus is present where two or three gather in his name.

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Praise in public and correct in private.