Dating App User Shares 8 Tips for Safe Online Encounters

Four years after a devastating breakup just weeks before her wedding, Mira Sumanti found an unexpected path to healing and self-discovery through dating apps. What began as a search for distraction evolved into a journey of meeting diverse individuals, gaining new perspectives, and fostering emotional recovery, experiences she documented in her book, "Swipe Therapy."

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I just needed a distraction. I wanted to talk to people who didn't know my past.

Sumanti, a Google employee, emphasizes that dating apps are not exclusively for finding romantic partners. She shared an anecdote about connecting with a neuroscientist from Australia via Tinder. Although their relationship never became romantic, their conversations proved pivotal in her emotional healing process, illustrating how some connections, though brief, offer profound wisdom.

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Dating apps aren't always about finding the one. You might find people who help you find yourself.

To navigate the world of online dating safely, Sumanti advocates for rigorous identity verification. Her personal practice involves Googling potential dates to check for online presence on platforms like LinkedIn or other social media. She developed a "Googleable Scale" to gauge the ease of verification, acknowledging that while digital information can be faked, a digital footprint is a crucial first step in minimizing risks of fraud or other criminal activities.

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Some people are only present for a short time, but leave wisdom that helps healing.

Sumanti also stresses the importance of prioritizing safety during initial meetings. She recommends daytime encounters in public spaces, such as for lunch or brunch. This approach not only enhances security but also fosters a more relaxed atmosphere for conversation. If compatibility is lacking, it allows for an easy and pressure-free departure. Furthermore, she advises against prolonged text-based communication, suggesting that users should aim to meet in person within one to two weeks to avoid fatigue and gain a more accurate impression of the individual.

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If they don't show up on Google Search, LinkedIn, or social media, I don't trust them.