Early Inheritance: Can Vietnamese Parents Avoid Sibling Rivalry?

In Vietnam, a growing number of parents are opting to divide their assets among their children while still alive, driven by a deep-seated fear of post-mortem inheritance disputes. The hope is that by providing each child with their share early on, the potential for future conflict and resentment will be eliminated.

However, the reality often proves more complicated. As one mother, identified as Bà Lan, discovered, dividing property does not automatically translate into familial harmony. After her husband's early death, Bà Lan raised three children alone. Her two sons lived with her, while her daughter married and moved away. As Bà Lan's health declined, the sons began to bicker over who was shouldering more responsibility for her care. The daughter was also called upon to contribute, leading to further tension.

Bà Lan ultimately decided to divide their family home into three parts, giving the eldest son a larger portion as he would be responsible for her care. The younger son and daughter received equal shares, with the daughter's portion converted to cash. While this arrangement aimed for transparency and fairness, it did not prevent estrangement. The sons divided the house into separate living spaces, becoming more distant rather than closer. Bà Lan found herself living in one son's section, sometimes going an entire week without seeing him, highlighting the emotional and relational costs that can accompany the division of material wealth.

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Parents can give children land, give children houses, but cannot divide love or filial piety in advance.