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🇦🇹 Austria /Culture & Society

How parents can confront patriarchal nonsense in child-rearing

From Die Presse · () German

Translated from German and summarized by DistantNews. Read the original for the full story.

At a glance

Interview Named sources Context piece
  • Author Alexandra Zykunov discusses feminist parenting, discrimination and the early development of gender stereotypes.
  • She argues that parents’ behavior matters more than children’s exposure to stereotyped media, and calls for shared narratives, better sex education and less sexist parenting.
  • Zykunov says motherhood exposed unequal expectations for mothers and fathers, including pressure that can push women away from careers and toward financial dependence.

Children may absorb gender stereotypes by the age of three, but Alexandra Zykunov argues that parents still have a powerful way to challenge them: show children a different model at home.

In an interview about her new book, “But You’re Allowed to Say Patriarchal Nonsense, Right?”, Zykunov discusses sexist media, sex education and the questions raised by feminist parenting. Her starting point is direct. By the time children can explain discrimination and social “isms” in full sentences, some prejudices may already have taken root.

Zykunov says she receives the strongest backlash when she holds fathers responsible for traditional expectations placed on boys. She says criticism is less intense when she discusses discrimination against women, but comments become hostile when she asks why some fathers still do not hug their sons or tell them that boys should not cry. “The fact that it’s not like that for me and my buddy doesn’t make the statistics obsolete,” she says, describing a common response from critics.

The fact that it’s not like that for me and my buddy doesn’t make the statistics obsolete.

— Alexandra ZykunovShe describes the backlash she receives when discussing fathers’ role in reinforcing gender norms.

Motherhood changed her own understanding of inequality. Before having children, she says, she had not considered herself a feminist and had not realized how outdated many social expectations remained. After giving birth in 2013, she encountered questions about returning to full-time work, leaving children with a trusted caregiver and whether a sick child could be cared for by its father.

Those comments showed her that mothers faced demands fathers did not. She connected that unequal treatment to women withdrawing from careers, rejecting jobs and becoming financially dependent, with effects that can continue into retirement. Her prescription is practical: parents should demonstrate mutual respect and avoid presenting girls as inherently compliant and boys as naturally wild.

Before I became a mother, I would never have thought how outdated society is, and I would never have called myself a feminist.

— Alexandra ZykunovShe explains how motherhood changed her view of gender inequality.
About this summary

Originally published by Die Presse in German. Translated, summarized, and contextualized automatically by DistantNews, with a note on how the source frames the story. Not individually reviewed before publishing. How this works.

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