Child Psychologist: Parents Should Avoid Telling Children 'Stop Crying' or 'It's Nothing'
Translated from Croatian, summarized and contextualized by DistantNews.
TLDR
- A child psychologist advises parents against telling children to suppress negative emotions, as this can hinder emotional resilience.
- Phrases like "It's nothing" or "Stop crying," while well-intentioned, can make children feel their emotions are invalid.
- Children need to learn to process difficult feelings like sadness and anger, rather than believing they must hide them.
In Croatia, parents often prioritize their children's happiness above all else, a sentiment echoed by the common phrase, "I just want my child to be happy." However, child psychologist Robyn Koslowitz warns that this well-meaning approach can inadvertently harm a child's emotional development. According to Koslowitz, happiness is not a constant state, and teaching children to avoid or suppress negative emotions like sadness, frustration, or anger can prevent them from developing crucial coping mechanisms.
I just want my child to be happy.
This perspective challenges the traditional Croatian emphasis on maintaining a cheerful facade, suggesting that allowing children to experience and express a full range of emotions is vital for building resilience. When children believe that negative feelings are wrong, they may hide them from parents, leading to isolation and difficulty in addressing serious issues like anxiety or peer problems.
Happiness is not a naturally permanent human state.
The article highlights how common phrases used to comfort children, such as "It's nothing" or "Stop crying," can be interpreted by children as a message that their feelings are not important or acceptable. This is a critical insight for Croatian parents who may be accustomed to offering quick reassurances rather than allowing space for emotional processing.
It's nothing
Ultimately, the advice from Koslowitz, as reported by Veฤernji List, encourages a shift towards validating all emotions, even the uncomfortable ones. This approach aims to equip children with the tools to navigate life's inevitable challenges, fostering a healthier and more robust emotional foundation.
Stop crying
Originally published by Veฤernji List in Croatian. Translated, summarized, and contextualized by our editorial team with added local perspective. Read our editorial standards.