James Valentine's year of living gratefully

James Valentine, a beloved figure on ABC Sydney for over 25 years, demonstrated extraordinary grace and a profound commitment to living fully in his final months. His decision to eschew anger in the face of a terminal oesophageal cancer diagnosis, choosing instead to embrace joy, friendship, and love, offers a powerful lesson in confronting mortality.

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I don't want my last days to be angry. Can't my last days be happy? If these are my last months, I want them full of joy. I want them full of friendship and love and happiness. That's what I've lived for. So, I don't want that to stop.

Valentine's approach, as detailed in the Australian Story feature, was not one of denial but of deliberate focus. Even after receiving the devastating news of stage four, terminal, inoperable, and incurable cancer, he consciously shifted his perspective. "There is nothing to be gained here," he reflected, choosing to stop dwelling on the medical choices of the past and instead embrace the present.

His "living wake" was a testament to this philosophy, a celebration of life rather than a mournful farewell. By surrounding himself with music, laughter, and the company of his family and friends, Valentine ensured his final months were not defined by despair but by the richness of human connection. His desire for his children to remember his last days filled with life, rather than dread, underscores a deep paternal love and a wish to leave a legacy of happiness.

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Yes, I'm dying, but here I am, up again on another day. There are friends to be with. There's family to be with. There's life to be experienced. There are breaths to be taken. There's a sky to contemplate. There's beauty to be seen.

Valentine's story resonates deeply in Australia, a country that often values resilience and a 'fair go' even in the face of adversity. His refusal to 'start mourning before you have to' is a sentiment that many Australians would find admirable, highlighting a cultural inclination towards stoicism and finding the positive, even in the darkest of times. This narrative stands in contrast to potentially more dramatic or sensationalized international coverage of terminal illness, focusing instead on the quiet dignity and personal choice in how one faces the end of life.

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Don't start mourning before you have to. There'll be plenty of time for that.