National Family Day: Exploring Father Wounds and Signs in Children

The theme for Indonesia's 33rd National Family Day in 2026, "Father Must Be Present," underscores that a father's role extends beyond economic support to encompass crucial emotional presence. This involvement is vital for children to develop a sense of security, self-confidence, and healthy future relationships. The absence of a father's emotional engagement can leave lasting scars into adulthood, a condition known in psychology as "father wound."

Psychologist Anisa Cahya Ningrum defines father wound as psychological distress stemming from an inadequate fatherly presence during a child's formative years. Contrary to common belief, this wound is not exclusive to children who have lost their fathers through death or divorce. It can also affect those whose fathers are physically present but emotionally unavailable. "Father wound is a psychological wound or injury experienced by someone due to the absence of a father figure in their life. This absence can be physical or emotional, including when a child feels rejection, neglect, or emotional pressure during their growth and development," Anisa explained.

Anisa emphasized that children need their fathers as a source of security, a refuge, a guide, and a validator of their emotions. Conversely, feelings of neglect, rejection, avoidance, or experiencing physical, verbal, or emotional abuse can lead to deeply stored wounds that impact future life. Even seemingly minor, repetitive behaviors can inflict emotional damage. These include leaving children without adequate explanation, infrequent displays of affection, hurtful words, lack of appreciation, excessive demands, constant comparisons, harsh treatment of a spouse or children, or leaving a mother and children to face problems alone.

Adults suffering from father wounds may exhibit various signs, often unaware of the root cause until later in life. These wounds can affect their ability to form healthy relationships, their self-esteem, and their overall emotional well-being. The article suggests that consistent unmet needs for acceptance and validation are key contributors to these deep-seated emotional scars.

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Father wound is a psychological wound or injury experienced by someone due to the absence of a father figure in their life. This absence can be physical or emotional, including when a child feels rejection, neglect, or emotional pressure during their growth and development.