Son Publishes Essays on 96-Year-Old Mother, Revealing Her as a 'Cold Young-joo'

In a society increasingly focused on the elderly, the story of Shin Young-joo and her son, Kim Soo-dong, offers a profound look at intergenerational connection and the recognition of individual identity beyond familial roles. The upcoming essay collection, "Cold Young-joo," is more than just a memoir; it's a testament to the power of deep listening and the realization that even those closest to us hold vast, untold stories.

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I want to be a friend rather than pretend to be a filial son. I think a mother needs a friend right now.

Kim Soo-dong's decision to refer to his mother as 'Young-joo' is significant. It signifies a conscious effort to see her not just as 'mother' but as an independent individual with her own history, thoughts, and feelings. This perspective, inspired by concepts like Dr. Jeong Hye-shin's "You Are Right," emphasizes the importance of a 'special other'—someone who understands and empathizes without judgment. This approach is crucial in navigating the complexities of aging and familial relationships, fostering a connection built on mutual respect and genuine curiosity.

Shin Young-joo, born in 1929, embodies a remarkable 'coldness'—not in the sense of being unfeeling, but in her unwavering self-possession and independence. Her son's analysis, drawing from concepts like "old age power," highlights her strong sense of self-worth, her ability to connect with others, her resilience in the face of life's challenges, and her enduring curiosity about the world. These are qualities that transcend age and offer valuable lessons for all generations, particularly in an era of rapid social change and increasing lifespans.

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I thought I knew my mother well, but when I heard about her experiences from her perspective and what she thought, it felt like a completely new story.

The book's genesis lies in Kim Soo-dong's own shift in perspective. As he found himself spending more time with his mother, particularly during the pandemic, he began to truly *see* her, not just as the woman who raised him, but as a person with a rich and complex past. This realization spurred him to document their conversations, transforming intimate dialogues into a narrative that celebrates a mother's life and a son's newfound understanding. It's a story that resonates deeply in South Korea, where discussions around aging, caregiving, and the evolving roles within families are becoming increasingly prominent.

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Now, there aren't many friends left to answer the phone.