18 years old, hold hands just enough for your child to grow
Translated from Vietnamese, summarized and contextualized by DistantNews.
TLDR
- Parents are advised to learn how to support their children through the transition to university without overwhelming them.
- The article emphasizes the importance of listening to and respecting a child's choices, even if they differ from parental expectations.
- True support involves allowing children to learn from their own experiences and mistakes, fostering independence rather than preventing failure.
Tuแปi Trแบป, a leading Vietnamese newspaper, addresses a critical juncture for many families: a child's transition to university. The article, titled '18 years old, hold hands just enough for your child to grow,' speaks directly to parents navigating this delicate phase. It acknowledges the deep-seated habit of parents guiding every decision, from academics to the smallest choices, viewing this guidance as a source of strength for their children.
However, the piece argues that at 18, a child stands at the threshold of self-determination. University is not merely about acquiring knowledge but about learning to chart one's own life course. The core message is the need for parents to learn the art of 'accompanying without doing for,' and 'loving without inadvertently creating pressure.' This involves a gradual loosening of the parental grip, a shift from direct control to supportive presence.
The Vietnamese cultural context often places immense value on familial expectations and the pressure to succeed, particularly in education. This article resonates with that reality by highlighting how parental expectations, even when well-intentioned, can become a burden. It suggests that instead of offering more advice, parents should prioritize listening โ truly listening โ to understand their child's aspirations and hesitations. This approach empowers the child to develop their own voice and confidence in their decisions.
Ultimately, Tuแปi Trแบป advocates for a different kind of love: one that allows children the space to explore, to err, and to learn from those errors. It frames 'letting go' not as abandonment, but as a conscious act of fostering resilience. The article encourages parents to be a steady presence, close enough for comfort but distant enough for independence, recognizing that mistakes are often the most profound teachers on the path to adulthood. This perspective is deeply rooted in the Vietnamese value of nurturing strong, independent individuals who can contribute meaningfully to society and family.
Originally published by Tuแปi Trแบป in Vietnamese. Translated, summarized, and contextualized by our editorial team with added local perspective. Read our editorial standards.